Be Where You Are
In The Myth of Freedom (Boston and London, 2002), Chogyam Trungpa notes, “We never want to be just where and what we are; we always want to be somewhere else.” (p. 92) This remark points to a tendency of mine that I have been trying to overcome.
I moved to Houston from the Big Island of Hawaii about two and a half years ago. Since that time, I have thought of Hawaii frequently, wanting to return, and that has become very bothersome to me. My wife has many friends in and near Houston and is very pleased with our house here, which we could never have afforded in Hawaii. I am glad to see my wife so happy. On both our parts, then, a return to Hawaii is quite unlikely.
As a zazen practitioner, I am familiar with putting unwanted thinking aside and readjusting my attention. Whenever I become aware of thinking about Hawaii, I put that thinking aside and settle in to where I am. It’s like removing a transparent film from a photo. The photo brightens up.
When the photo brightens, I am in an attractive middle-income subdivision in southeast Houston. The homes are all large, two-story, red or sandstone brick. I find it pleasant to walk within the subdivision and observe the appealing and imposing homes.
Our own home is smaller than most of the others, but nice-looking from the street, red-brick, with well-trimmed bushes and a large tree. Within the house, there are hardwood floors except for kitchen and bathrooms, where there is tile. I enjoy walking around the spacious five-bedroom house, which my wife and I have furnished and decorated appealingly. I am happy here, with a study in an upstairs bedroom where I do my writing.
Moving into greater Houston, my wife and I love to dance, and almost weekly, after dark, we take a thirty-minute freeway drive to a dance hall in northwest Houston. I always marvel at the superbly maintained freeways and the bright lighting. Given the squishy nature of the Houston ground, the freeways and tall light poles must be secured by pilings maybe two-hundred feet deep. It is an engineering marvel.
Thus Houston brightens up for me when the thought of Hawaii leaves. I hope to be gradually fulfilling the teaching of Buddhism, which Trungpa says “teaches us to be what we are where we are, constantly.” (p. 93)