Putting Self Aside        

In Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism (2002), Chogyam Trungpa says that on a true spiritual path, “We must . . . give something up in a very painful way.  We must begin to dismantle the basic structure of the ego we have managed to create.”  He continues about the pain of this dismantling, “It will be terrible, excruciating, but that is the way it is.” (p. 81)  

Trungpa’s words remind me of my experience when I joined my first spiritual group about 40 years ago.  The group was a branch of a traditional, Muslim Sufi order in California.  The order’s home was Istanbul.  The leader of the group, a Sheikh, and advanced members of the group, were intent on exposing a new member’s ego to him or her.  For me, this exposure, even if Trungpa’s “excruciating” may be too strong for it, led to many uncomfortable junctures. 

For instance, if I approached the Sheikh with some profound religious insight, he would turn away completely unconcerned.  The advanced members might do the same if I tried to impress them.  In time, I got used to putting my sense of specialness aside and just functioning as an everyday joe. 

In Sufism, putting one’s “I” aside made room for the love of God to enter the heart.  I think that heart-opening may have happened with me to some degree.  Certainly I eventually felt freer, lighter, happier.